My fight for change

I always wore my hood up. 

Then no-one could see my face.

The tears and red eyes showed my fall from grace. 

I was sad and angry and I didn’t understand 

Why has my life not gone as I planned?

I lost so much in a short space of time

My marriage, my home and my mind. 

Standing on the edge and looking down at the world.

Wondering how my life had unfurled. 

All I heard was the casual phrases 

Followed by compliments and praises. 

‘It will get better.’

‘You won’t feel like this forever.’ 

I’ve been to the dark side and now I have returned 

I saw a lot and I have learned

About myself, my mind and the support that isn’t there. 

The professionals and doctors don’t seem to care. 

The darkness took over my world and nothing felt real.

I felt numb and I couldn't feel.

The person who I wanted to save me was gone. 

Without her, how could I go on?

The one who could save me was the woman I used to be. 

She would win this fight with one hand behind her back.

No way would she stand for depression’s attack. 

She was feisty and determined and strong.

The woman I am now feels so wrong. 

I will find her again and see her in the mirror. 

I can’t wait for my head to be clearer. 

I will stand tall and proud and say ‘I am Emma D’Walters and this is my story.’

My next chapter focuses on changing the health system. 

I will use what I learned and my new wisdom. 

To fight for those with suicidal thoughts and depression

I’ll raise the unanswered question. 

Why is there no immediate support for someone who wants to end their life? 

I’ll rest for now and pick up the fight 

I’m emerging now, I see the light. 

I don’t wear my hood up so much these days

The feistiness and determination are slowly returning

I am becoming the woman I have been yearning.

People are dying because of lack of support and I want to change that. Watch me change the world.